Photo credit: JakesMomE on Flickr.com - CC BY 2.0

Dear Arizona Travel:
My children are ages 6, 14, 15 and 18. What tour(s) would be safe for all? What would you recommend? Thanks.
–Deborah H.

Dear Deborah,
Your kids are the perfect age for almost any tour. The only thing you probably wouldn’t be able to do is river rafting as I believe most companies require a child be at least 8 years old.

Where are you starting your trip from, Nevada or Arizona?

For your crew, I recommend the Grand Canyon Railway (www.thetrain.com) at the South Rim, any of the Grand Canyon helicopter tours or airplane tours (either from Las Vegas or the South Rim), a Jeep tour (there is a great one to the bottom of the Grand Canyon through Grand Canyon Jeeps Tours (www.grandcanyonjeeps.com) that also includes a stop at the fascinating Grand Canyon Caverns… it departs from the South Rim), or just some guided hiking at the South Rim. Try Canyon Dave’s (www.canyondave.com) for a really great educational tour that everyone will enjoy… it’s hiking and learning at the same time.

If you’re coming from Las Vegas, you might want to skip the South Rim and instead check out the West Rim (it’s a 3.5 hour drive versus a 5 hour drive) and take a walk out on the Grand Canyon Skywalk (www.grandcanyonskywalk.com). it’s the glass bridge that extends 70 feet out over the canyon rim and looks straight down through the glass 4,000 feet to the canyon floor below.

I always recommend trying to fit in one or two of the guided National Park ranger talks, too. They run almost all day for about an hour each, meet in several different spots at the South Rim and cover a range of different topics from wildlife to geology to art and history to astronomy. All are great and they’re completely free. Check out the Spring 2010 edition of The Guide – the National Park’s newspaper – for detailed times, descriptions and meeting places.

Hope that helps, Deborah! Have a great trip!

Phoenix is the fifth largest city in the nation, so no doubt there are tons of things to do in the Valley of the Sun over the next couple of months. Here, I highlight five don’t-miss fall activities that span the city from north to south:

Fall 2009 Events in Phoenix/Scottsdale, Arizona

MacDonald’s Ranch Pumpkin Patch – North Scottsdale: Daily, October 3 – 31

Mule-drawn hayride at MacDonald's Ranch

This North Scottsdale mainstay offers families classic pumpkin patch experiences like horse and mule-drawn hayrides, petting zoo, hay maze and sack races. But they also offer unique activities like a gem mine and a western golf game. And the fact that they allow you to pack a picnic lunch (save $$$) and they’re open 7 days a week sets them apart from the weekends-only pumpkin patches and festivals elsewhere in the state.
MacDonald’s Ranch is located at Jomax and Scottsdale Road, just 5 miles north of the Loop 101. Click to download their Pumpkin Patch flyer, or call 480.585.0239 for details.

Mariposa Monarca at Desert Botanical Garden – Phoenix/Scottsdale: Daily, September 26 – November 15

Mariposa Monarca exhibit. See www.dbg.org for more.

This annual event is one of the Desert Botanical Garden’s most popular exhibits and it’s no wonder why. Stroll through the Marshall Butterfly Pavillion now through November 15, 2009 and surround yourself with hundreds of live Monarch butterflies.

This engaging experience features interpretive displays about the lifecycle, migration patterns, environmental threats, and conservation efforts of the monarch butterfly.

Ongoing daily at Desert Botanical Garden 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m.
Located at 1201 N. Galvin Parkway – (on the shared borders of Phoenix, Scottsdale and Tempe)
Free for members and children under three. $3 for General Public with paid Garden admission.
Email monarchs@dbg.org or call 480-481-8128 for more information. www.dbg.org

Annual Fall Festival at Saints Simon & Jude Cathedral – Phoenix: October 25

The Annual Fall Festival at Saints Simon & Jude is a favorite community event that doesn’t get all the fanfare and spotlight of local news coverage, but certainly deserves it. This Catholic community and school’s fundraising event welcomes all who enjoy delicious foods, family-friendly games, raffles, activities and happy memories of your childhood church bazaar. Located in Central Phoenix at 6351 North 27th Avenue (27th Avenue between Maryland and Bethany Home Road), there’s ample free parking and inexpensive food and raffle tickets. Be sure to check out two special features of the festival: Sister Raphael’s Irish Tea Room and Father Clement’s Touch Down Lounge! Call the parish office at (602) 242-1300 or visit www.simonjude.org.

Arizona State Fair – State Fairgrounds: Daily/Nightly Except Mondays October 16 – November 8

Arizona State Fair - Oct 16 - Nov 8

A fall events post would be incomplete without the Arizona State Fair. This long-running event is an autumnal favorite and an impressive showcase of headline concerts and entertainment, delicious food, exciting rides, shows, demonstrations, exhibits and more. Be sure to try the Fair’s (in)famous adventures in fried foods, and see big, big performances by Bob Dylan, Stone Temple Pilots, The Black Crowes, and Raven-Symone.

Visit the Arizona State Fair website – www.azstatefair.com – for comprehensive information on daily discounts, parking, directions, map, hours, prices, tickets, rides, food and more.

Pumpkin and Chili Party at Schnepf Farms – Queen Creek: Every Thursday – Sunday in October

This is the big time when it comes to pumpkin festivals. Voted “”Arizona’s Best Family Fall Experience” by Phoenix Magazine, the Schnepf Farms Pumpkin and Chili Party offers hay rides, miniature golf, 4 acre Sonic Burger Maze, country road rally, honeybee adventure, carousel rides, petting barn, Hillbilly Bob’s Pig Races, carnival rides for children young and old, Pumpkin Launch, Witch Mountain giant slide, Arizona’s only gravity roller coaster (must be 32″ tall to ride), SRP Earthwise interactive experience, rock climbing wall, live entertainment, bonfires & marshmallow roasting (6:30pm), Lil’ Farmers play yard, Schnepf Family Museum, sweet shop, country store, gift shops, holiday gift tent and a spectacular fireworks show on Friday & Saturday nights to celebrate 68 years of farming!

The key to enjoying this huge pumpkin and food festival is to skip the tickets line and save $2 on admission by purchasing discount tickets in advance at any Fry’s Food Stores location. You’ll pay $14 per person over the age 2 versus the $16 regular price.

There’s tons of information about times, activities, food experiences, entertainment, showtimes and more on the Schnepf Farms website www.schnepffarms.com

Dear Arizona Travel:

My fiance and I are getting married in Vegas in July 2010. From Vegas we want to visit the Grand Canyon. We only plan on spending 1 day there and we will have 3 small children with us. What is better? the North, South, or West Rim? Would you suggest renting a car and driving from Vegas or taking a tour? I am totally lost at what to do. Any and all help is appreciated. Thank you so much!
–Diana R

Read on for my answer:

Hi, Diana.  Best wishes on your upcoming marriage and congratulations to your fiance!

I am assuming you want to drive yourselves and are not considering taking a helicopter or air tour from Las Vegas to the South Rim.  If you hadn’t thought of flying, you might.  It’s a great way to minimize car-trip boredom, and get your tour and transportation in one.  It’s also the most time-efficient, as you can do one of these tours in half a day instead of a full day.

If you want to drive, start out early to maximize your time and the canyon and beat the heat.  As to where to go and what to do:

From Las Vegas, the West Rim is closest – only about 121 miles (2 hours) versus 278 (4.5 hours) to the South Rim.  The North Rim, while amazing and a great choice, is a longer drive-time from Las Vegas (only 282 miles, but over 5 hours) and with 3 small kids in the car, might prove to be just too long a trip.

The West Rim is where you’ll find the Grand Canyon Skywalk and several other Native American cultural sites.  While the Skywalk offers a unique view of the Canyon (a glass bottom sidewalk that juts out over the edge of the canyon, allowing you to look straight down) it might not be the most kid-friendly activity and while there are several small educational exhibits out there, too, the Skywalk is really the main attraction.  Also, Grand Canyon West is not actually a part of the National Park; it is on Hualapai Tribal land, so if you are going for a more informative, educational and “classic” visit to Grand Canyon National Park, I think the South Rim is a much better choice.  Further, the West Rim is rather expensive to visit… it’s at least $81.20 per adult and $61.16 per child ages 4 – 11. Children must be at least 4 to walk on the Skywalk.  There are extra fees (up to $35 total) just to enter the West Rim and ride the optional shuttle bus from the parking lot.

If you do choose the West Rim, I recommend U-Drive Tours (udrivetours.com) – they’re amazing. They not only package up all the Skywalk tickets and entrance fees to make things easy, but they include in their tour price the rental of a Jeep, SUV, Escalade, Prius or other fun cars that can handle the unpaved road that is the final 15 miles to the West Rim.  The owners are a super nice couple with young kids so they could be very helpful to helping you book the best trip to the West Rim possible. They know that area like the back of their hands and they operate / depart your tour from Las Vegas which is great for you.  They can also help round out the activities by recommending an add-on helicopter flight to the bottom of the canyon, horseback riding or a rafting trip.

The South Rim is the most visited for good reason.  The views are amazing, and the park service does a great job offering free ranger-led programs that are great for kids and will allow you to get the very most out of your 1 full day there.  It’s most crowded in the summer, though, so the trade-offs are big crowds at popular viewpoints and it can be difficult finding parking.

As the mother of an almost three year old, I suggest driving yourself to the South Rim vs. paying for a traditional bus tour for all of you.  I would like the flexibility to come and go in my own car, stop for bathroom breaks, keep “mommy” supplies in the car (change of clothes in case of potty accidents, snacks, etc.)  Plus, not knowing the age of your kids, you might want to bring strollers or a wagon as there is A LOT of walking at the Grand Canyon. Parking lots are usually about 1/4 mile from the rim itself, plus walking along the rim trail.  You can also ride the free hop-on-hop-off shuttle bus that runs around the South Rim from one viewpoint to the next… Definitely take advantage of that.

That’s not to say that tours aren’t a good idea… there are some FABULOUS choices once you’re at/near the South Rim.  Here are some of my favorite totally kid-friendly tour ideas at the south rim:
1) Ride the Grand Canyon Railway from Williams (an hour south of the park) to the South Rim of the park.  There couldn’t be a more relaxing, value-packed and kid-friendly way to spend a full day at the Canyon and they have different price points. www.thetrain.com
2) Take a Jeep Tour with Grand Canyon Jeep Tours… you can depart from either Williams or Tusayan (which is the town just outside the park entrance.)  They do a jeep ride to the bottom of the Canyon which is super cool. (www.grandcanyonjeeps.com)
3) Take a helicopter tour with any of the companies on theCanyon.com – they’re all great and you can’t go wrong. Two popular choices are MaverickHelicopter.com and Papillon.com (which also owns Grand Canyon Helicopters)

To find all these companies, check out theCanyon.com:

Grand Canyon Jeep Tours, U-Drive Tours and Grand Canyon Railway

Grand Canyon Helicopters, Papillon Helicopters, Maverick Helicopter and all helicopter tours from Las Vegas

Have a great trip and again, best wishes for your marriage!

–ChristinaToo

But, I am so super excited for fall to arrive this year – even more than usual – because there are some really cool new 2009 autumn festivities happening around the state of Arizona.  Well, they may not be new to everyone, but they’re new to me and since they weren’t part of our hugely popular Fall 2006 post, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’d like to hear about them, too.

There’s so much going on around the state that I’m planning this as a multi-parter, starting in the city of Prescott.  Look for future posts for information on what to do in Sedona, Flagstaff and Scottsdale this fall, as well.  And if you have some terrific insight, please oh please feel free to leave a comment here so I can include your contribution in my next post!

Fall 2009 Events in Prescott, Arizona

Freeman Farms Pumpkin Festival – Chino Valley: September 26 & 27 and every weekend in October

photo credit: Freeman Farms - azpumpkins.com

THIS is where you must go for the Real Farm Experience.  Freeman Farms touts itself as Northern Arizona’s REAL Pumpkin Patch, and I mean, seriously – they have everything you could expect from a pumpkin patch: farm fresh pumpkins (grown on Freeman Farms); farm fresh produce; horse, animal and wildlife presentations; educational presentations; corn maze; hay rides; horseback riding lessons; petting zoo; entertainment and activities; attractions and concessions; and of course, fun for the whole family!

In case you aren’t familiar with the Prescott tri-city area, Chino Valley is located just 15 minutes north of Prescott.

• When to go: Weekends beginning September 26 & 27 and continuing every Friday, Saturday and Sunday in October from 9 am to 4 pm
• What to expect: While some pre-cut pumpkins will probably be available, the U-Pick aspect is a big part of the fun! Bring your own cutting utensil.  If you pick it, (or break a stem,) you pay for it. No dogs allowed. Average temperatures in Chino Valley for October are a high of 74.6 degrees F and a low of 56.8… ‘pertinear’ darn perfect.
• Prices: Parking is FREE. Admission: $3 per adult;  $2 per child 2-18 years old;  infants in diapers FREE
• For more information: www.azpumpkins.com for directions or call 928-636-5714.

Old West Oktoberfest – Saturday, October 17

photo credit: scottb211 on flickr.com

Amber fall foliage is perfect when paired with a locally-crafted beer. In it’s ninth year, the Old West Oktoberfest promises to be bigger and better than ever! With more microbreweries participating, expanded events and more areas for whole-family fun, the downtown section of Gurley Street gets closed off so participants can wander the booths, tasting and testing ales, ambers, stouts and lagers.

• When to go:Saturday, October 17 from 1 pm to 6 pm
• What to expect:Large crowds. Be prepared to show valid ID proving you are age 21 or over. You’ll get a souvenir tasting glass and tickets good for five beer samples. Expect ideal fall weather in the mid -70s during the day and light layers needed as the festival comes to a close.
• Prices: $15 per person.
• Don’t drink and drive: Visit hotels.prescott.com to browse, compare and book a hotel room within walking distance or a short, cheap cab ride from downtown Prescott.

Lynx Lake Restaurant – Prescott National Forest: Open Tuesday through Sunday

photo credit: walkingprescott.blogspot.com

A local favorite, this German restaurant overlooks Lynx Lake and shares its space with the Lynx Lake store and boat rentals.  Watch kayakers, paddle boats and trout-anglers as you enjoy a killer breakfast (served 8 am – 2pm) or dinner (served 4 pm – 8 pm) and a great German beer.  Authentic Bavarian fare, great views, and the thrill of being in on a best-kept secret are reasons enough to plan your own personal Oktoberfest and check out the Lynx Lake Cafe.

• When to go: Not Mondays. You’ll get super slow service since they’re not open. Better go Tuesday through Sunday and you’ll get great service.
• How to get there: Take Highway 69 to Walker Road (Look for Costco between Prescott and Prescott Valley) and turn south onto Walker Road. Go 7.6 miles on Walker Road. Right on Eagle Road. Left on Eureka Lane. 4505 E Forest Service Rd (928) 778-0720.

Trick o’ Treating on Mt. Vernon – Halloween: Saturday, October 31

photo credit: giometriks on flickr.com

Mt. Vernon street in Prescott is lined with stately and cute-as-a-button Victorian homes that get all decked out for Halloween. Each year, about 5,000 trick o’ treaters of all ages descend upon Mt. Vernon and line up at the spookily-transformed Painted Ladies to garner ghoulish goodies and marvel at the lawns-turned-graveyards and creepy decor.

• Where to go: Mt. Vernon Street is four blocks east of Courthouse Square, and south of Gurley Street.View Map
• When to show up: Twilight if you have little kids; later if you have older kids or you are an overgrown Power Ranger pandering for candy you could not only afford yourself but also by a sixer to go along with it.
• What to expect: Large crowds, off-site FREE parking in the Granite Street Parking Garage at Gurley and Granite, one block west of Montezuma…and thus an easy five-block walk to Mt. Vernon Street.

Prescott is totally happening during October and November, so be sure to check out this calendar of events in Prescott to stay up-to-date on all the sweet raves and flashmobs… woops, I mean, festivals and art shows going on in town this fall in Prescott.

Got an event to add? Leave your comment here or add it to the Prescott.com community calendar – it’s Free!

Photo: Arizona Office of Tourism

On a recent Diane Rehm Show broadcast on National Public Radio, guest host Susan Page spoke with historian, Douglas Brinkley, and Department of Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, about President Theodore Roosevelt’s vision for preserving America’s wilderness and the future of our national parks and monuments.

The national park system will celebrate its centennial in 2016 and national parks like the Grand Canyon continue to top the list of desired vacation destinations. When asked in a 2009 survey¹, over 66% of respondents expressed interest in vacationing to a National Park destination; the number one answer.

Table: Arizona Office of Tourism

How important are the national parks to the nation? According to Secretary Salazar,

[National Parks] play a very major role in terms of the economy and jobs for America. They also play a very major role in the health of our communities and, they are…what connects up the people of this country to our lands, our soils, our air, our wildlife. They’re very special places.

Special places, indeed. The National Park System received over 400 million visitors last year. That’s more visitors than people who attended Major League Baseball, NFL, NBA and NASCAR events combined².  But even so, that’s fewer visitors that in previous years.  So what has happened?  Again, Secretary Salazar:

I think the nation and the nation’s population is suffering from Nature Deficit Disorder. That is, that we have fewer and fewer people getting out into the outdoors… Today, on average, young people are spending 4 minutes a day in the outdoors, and, it is said, 6 hours a day in front of a television or a computer. So one of our challenges of these times is really to reverse that and to get young people – all people – out into the outdoors, as part of a healthy Americans agenda.

Writer Douglas Brinkley agreed.

Young people no longer know the difference between an oak or a maple. We’ve lost their sense of…the difference between birds. Or just getting that fresh air for your health and clearing your mind.

Source: Library of Congress

Here in Arizona, we’re lucky that the antidote to Nature Deficit Disorder is right in our very own backyard. Visit a national park. Check out a national monument, a state park, or a wildlife refuge. Make an annual trip to the Grand Canyon.  Why not hop in the car and take your family out for a day of kayaking on Watson Lake in Prescott? Or horseback riding in Mayer? Or whitewater rafting on the Upper Salt River? Teddy Roosevelt would certainly approve. Said Brinkley,

[Teddy Roosevelt]…loved the American West. And he liked…urban centers – where you’re within a day’s reach of…wilderness areas. Just a weekend in the woods or on a lake or canoeing or by a stream could replenish the spirit and get you back to your work grind… But to just tune out our natural surroundings, Roosevelt thought was not just a mistake, but…unpatriotic.

In preparation for the 2016 centennial of the national park system, make a resolution to make the outdoors a part of your life and your kids’ life every day. Turn off the TV, grab a camera, a magnifying glass for bug inspection and a field guide to local birds and wildlife and engage your family in curing their Nature Deficit Disorder.

¹Arizona Office of Tourism – Ypartnership/Yankelovich National Leisure Travel Monitor

²National Public Radio

My dad is just like my grandpa,
but my grandpa is better.

- Zach, 5th grader

Photo credit: ArizTravel.com - All Rights Reserved

“What makes your grandparents so special?”   This was the question Verde Canyon Railroad posed to thousands of grade school students across the state of Arizona, in the annual “Grandparents Day Essay Contest.”

An abundance of entries poured into the Railroad’s Clarkdale depot, full of all the qualities that children find most appealing and important in a grandparent. Winners were chosen from each region, and each successful author will be awarded complimentary first-class train rides for them and their grandparents aboard the famed wilderness excursion train on Sunday, September 13th, 2009 celebrating Grandparents Day.

“We really enjoy reading the essays– they’re always so bright, funny and charming that it makes it very difficult to choose winners,” said Teresa Propeck, Verde Canyon Railroad’s Marketing Director.

“My dad is just like my grandpa, but my grandpa is better,” said Zach Abrigo in his prize winning essay. Abrigo is a 5th grade student at Cottonwood Middle School in the Verde Valley. Adriana Revilla, a 4th grader from Desert Heights School in Peoria, let us know about her “lovable” grandparents, “They are so understanding because when I accidentally gave my grandpa a black eye they did not get mad.”  “What makes my grandparents special is that they love me no matter what,” said McKenna Olsen, a 5th grader from Challenge Charter School in Glendale. “Sure, they’re sometimes embarrassing and weird, but that’s only because they’re just trying to play around with me.”

Students from Del Rio Middle School in Chino Valley submitted an entire binder full of entries about their retiring lunchroom/playground volunteer, Celia Chapman, known as “Grandma” to the entire student body. The students love their “Del Rio Grandma” for helping them open their snacks and lunches, keeping them safe from harm on the playground, and for her famed Hubba Hubba dance every Friday. “She also knows most of our names at school, which is about 700 children,” said 3rd grader, Coltin Farnsworth. Naturally, with credentials like this, the Verde Canyon Railroad will award a train ride to “Grandma” Celia Chapman.

Students love their ‘Del Rio Grandma’ for her famed Hubba Hubba dance [she performs] every Friday.

Other winners include Makaela Hayman,  4th grader at Clarkdale-Jerome School; Keigan Willingham, 3rd grader at Del Rio Middle School in Chino Valley; Miranda Masters,  2nd grader at Canon Elementary in Black Canyon City; Adrian Lara  and Charity DeTemple, both 4th graders at Prescott Valley’s Acorn Montessori; Nialetti Daley, 5th grader at Phoenix’s Joseph Zito Elementary; Collin Wood and Rook Wood, 2nd graders at Bustoz Elementary in Tempe; and Justin Paprocki and Jacob Garza,  5th graders from Challenge Charter School in Glendale.

Grandparents Day is Sunday, September 13th. On this date, the Verde Canyon Railroad departs at 1:00 pm and returns at 5:00 pm, a perfect, leisurely excursion through the wilderness for grandparents, parents, and children of all ages.

The Verde Canyon Railroad depot is located at 300 N. Broadway in Clarkdale, 25 minutes from Sedona, 2 hours north of Phoenix and 90 minutes south of Flagstaff. Go to verdecanyonrailroad.com for more information.

Photo credit: Shap2007 on flickr.com

There’s no amusement park in Sedona.  But that doesn’t mean that Sedona’s not a great destination for families with kids.  There are all kinds of things to do in Sedona – especially in the spring and summer – that appeal to kids and parents alike.  Check out a quick rundown of great things to do in Sedona – or a quick 20 – 60 minute drive away – if you have a child or children under the age of 12:

1) JEEP TOURS – In town, a Sedona Jeep Tour is a great, classic “must-do” for Sedona visitors of all ages. Sedona Jeep tours routinely cater to families with young children. There are several companies to choose from that offer jeep tours in Sedona so visit each one’s website to see what fits your family best.

2) SEDONA TROLLEY – The Sedona Trolley will take your family all over Uptown Sedona for shopping and dining; and a visit up Oak Creek Canyon to Slide Rock State Park is fun for some natural summertime water-play.

Photo credit: kyle simourd on flickr.com

3) STARGAZING – If the kids can stay up a little late, you might check out some Sedona astrological tours (”Sedona by Starlight” is presented by the Institute of Eco-Tourism) on Monday nights and take advantage of seeing Sedona’s beautifully dark skies filled with stars.  For tours any night of the week, check out Evening Sky Tours.  This is what you call family-friendly, natural Sedona entertainment and nightlife!

4) WILD ANIMAL PARK – Just a short 45-minute car ride, near Camp Verde, look for one of the best things to do in Prescott, AZ: Out of Africa wildlife park – a great zoo experience for the whole family.

Photo credit: cogdogblog on flickr.com

5) RIDE THE RAILS – Just a bit south of Sedona, look for the Verde Canyon Railroad (about 20 min from Sedona) for an old-fashioned train ride and sightseeing experience including lots of wildlife

7) SPECIAL EVENTS – There are some really fantastic special events in Sedona happening year-round. See our Sedona event calendar. Depending on the dates of your visit, you may catch the Sedona Arts Festival, one of many music festivals like the Sedona Jazz on the Rocks, live theater like Shakespeare Sedona or the Sedona Film Festival. Several popular fall & winter holiday events like Fiesta de Tlaquepaque and the famous Sedona Luminarias are reason alone to take a family vacation to Sedona, AZ.  And anytime of year during your sightseeing in Sedona, be sure to look for all the “Javalinas on Parade,” a public art installation all around town. Kids love to use their “treasure” maps and go “hunting” for the Javalinas.

Photo credit: eyeliam on flickr.com

8) KIDS EAT FREE – For parents on a budget (read: ALL PARENTS) a Kids Eat Free deal is something to shout about.  Check out Sedona restaurants like Joey Bistro and Stakes & Sticks – both located at Los Abrigados Resort & Spa – where, starting March 29, 2009, Kids Eat Free  every Sunday. Please call Stakes & Sticks at 928-204-STIX (7849) or Joey Bistro at (928) 204-JOEY (5639) for more information.

Enjoy your Sedona family vacation!

A few months back, I had two wonderful mothers [in Sedona] on multi-day Sedona retreat.  What was interesting is that even though they were on separate retreats they had very similar stories—in fact they looked alike! Both were recently divorced and had multiple children. During my meetings with them, I had some deep insights about their children and higher-level parenting. I promised Beth I would write a story about my insights which she heard deeply (Go Beth! Testimonial)

I want to set this article up by telling you a few interesting facts:

According to current traditional mental health literature children learn in three different ways: one, they inherit their parents inner emotional life; two, how their parents are interacting with the world and each other, in other words, modeling; and three, what you’re telling them verbally (which drops dramatically when they become teenagers!)

Between birth and age 7, kids are a giant sponge, they have no discernment, they take in everything both positive and negative. The information they receive forms their subconscious which they will see their world through, especially when they are in a low mood.

Sometimes with clients on Sedona retreats it might be important to identify the beliefs and imprints from their childhood they are still operating from or seeing the world through. Those imprints are really like a filter we look through and then experience our world based on the content of that imprint. For example: “I can’t get anything right. I’m always wrong.” If you looked at your world through these words, you get a constant state of judgment of yourself and need to be perfect or fear of making a mistake.
Now back to my two clients and their kids. I asked them both two questions:

1. What imprints and beliefs do you think your children formed as result of watching you and your ex-husband go through conflict and then divorce? Remember based on the above and they way kids learn—they picked up on that interaction no matter how much you both tried to hide it.
2. What imprints and beliefs did you yourself create from that experiences leading to divorce? And again, remembering, that your kids will inherit your inner emotional life

I think these are powerful questions and they take courage to explore. But I believe the process can really create a different future for your children and yourself. My assertion is why not address these beliefs now as opposed to when they become adults. Make sense?

Depending on the children’s age, you can actually engage them in a partnership about discovering these beliefs—trying to keep it as light as possible. For example, a general one: “When you saw Daddy and me fighting what did you feel or think”? Or, if they are perhaps a teenage girl, you could ask them, “Do you think it’s okay for women to not fight back and just try and go along?” That’s a big one and one that has come up many times on retreat. Or the opposite, a non verbal one: “When someone is yelling at you, you yell back louder and don’t let them win!”

There are so many negative messages being passed around when a couple is having trouble. So, if you could sit down and really try and identify them, I believe it would take your parenting to a higher level because you would see very clearly why your children are behaving in a certain way and thus see their innocence. But also, see your innocence and don’t get into a big guilt trip! “Oh my God, what have I done to my children?” That will help nothing. You were living your life and parenting from that information you had—period! You are getting more and perhaps new information right now! Go make use of it, my friends!

I suggested to Beth, that in partnership with her children she could actually write these down and put them on the refrigerator. And to point out to herself and her children when they are seeing the world through one of the beliefs, which of course are usually negative. Ask yourself and your kids: “Am I seeing this event through the negative filter of the past or is there another possible way of looking at this?” Wow! Can you imagine how powerful that would be if a twelve year old heard that? The mission is to empower yourself and your children to have an insight that when they see their world or events negatively it’s coming out of these beliefs and has nothing to do with reality!

When I explain to parents the three ways children learn, they all get it but very few make the connection to their present day parenting and those three rules. Meaning, they don’t realize at a deeper level that the way to teach their children is by working on themselves, by modeling to them. If you are divorced and want to help your children dissolve those beliefs that were formed, then first dissolve them in yourself—simply stop seeing your life thru them: “I will never open myself again to another man.” Guess how your teenager is going to interact with the opposite sex when they get older?

I sense this is the first installment, lots to talk about on this subject! Brothers and sisters, go about this exploration with lightness, continue to invite your natural wisdom to assist you—meaning stay out of your head—you head-trippers know who you are!
Let your parenting be an exploration!
A Ho,
Greg

Gregory Drambour is our guest contributor for Spirituality Week.  You can read more about Gregory on his website, Sedona Sacred Journeys.

Father and child in the snow - Photo credit: faeryboots on flickr.com

Day Three of Spirituality Week has a personal resonance for me.  I am the mother of a two-year-old, so guidance on how to teach my daughter about Spirituality is especially timely.

I took my little one to her pediatrician this week for a well-visit.  I had questions about her diet, potty training, sleep habits, discipline and behavior.  Every answer the doctor provided had a common theme:  whether it’s eating, sleeping, going potty, or behaving, my two-year-old is learning how the world works ALL THE TIME.  And her number one teachers? We, Her Parents.  Ah, the pressure!  And the glorious opportunity!  She is constantly looking to her father and me to see how people eat healthily, take care of their hygiene and environment, sleep and wake on a routine, and “predict with 100% accuracy” (hat tip to Dr. Phil) what consequences her bad and good behavior will illicit.

So when it comes to Spirituality, the same theme certainly applies.  Teaching my daughter to be Spiritual will mean that I will model forgiveness of self and others (see Day One’s Lesson on Forgiveness.)  I will shape her self-image by telling and showing her that it’s okay to make mistakes, to accept frustration and work through it, and try new things even if she might not excel at them right away.

Our guest Spirituality contributor, Gregory Drambour, has some additonal insights and real-life strategies for teaching your children about Spirituality in his article, Doing Something About How Your Children See the World.  Check out this guest blogger post from Gregory in Day Three Part Two.

Coming up on Spirituality Week – Day Four: Spiritual Glossary